


It Rains When You're Here And It Rains When You're Gone

by rainy_fangirl



Series: songfics [4]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Break Up, Cheating, F/M, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Introspection, Moving On, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, had to turn comments off, wedding angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 09:56:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13051668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainy_fangirl/pseuds/rainy_fangirl
Summary: "One second it was perfect now you're halfway out the door."It was a searing sort of loss, it was a cold place in the bed. It was an “I love you” text left unanswered after months.





	It Rains When You're Here And It Rains When You're Gone

_ {Once upon a time, _ __  
_ I believe it was a Tuesday when I caught your eye _ __  
_ And we caught onto something _ __  
_ I hold onto the night, _ __  
_ You looked me in the eye _ __  
_ And told me you loved me} _ __  
  


Water seeps into the tiny holes Juvia’s shoes she’s spent months trying to repair, filling her thigh high boots with icy slush. She cringes, not from the cold, but from trying to keep her eyes off his windowsill. Last spring, she’d planted daffodils in the same window box, back in the days when they’d lived together, a full ten months ago. She can’t help but wonder if his new girlfriend, the one she’d caught him with on the day it all went to hell, maybe she’ll plant him flowers in his worn down windowsill planter. Maybe hydrangeas, for heartlessness, Juvia muses. Gray had always had a thing for blondes, he’d been working with the girl, Lucy, she thinks her name is, for years, Juvia had seen it coming. 

__  
_ {Were you just kidding? _ __  
_ 'Cause it seems to me, this thing is breaking down _ __  
_ We almost never speak _ __  
_ I don't feel welcome anymore _ __  
_ Baby, what happened, please tell me? _ __  
_ 'Cause one second it was perfect, now you're halfway out the door} _ __  
  


Gray had found her in that short, miserable transition between winter and spring. To her, it had seemed like a fairy tale, a beautiful boy who had picked her up and made her feel special. Sure, he had been cold and aloof, but….but. Juvia had dealt with cheaters before, he had never struck her as one. But then again, Bora had never struck her as the type to hit. Gray was quiet, but she was persistent. Eventually, he’d cracked, in what had felt like the best possible way. Their first date had been at the beach. He’d asked her to be his girlfriend there, and to move in. Juvia had thought that he would...No. It had been foolish to assume. That they could be anything of the sort, they were both so young. Early twenties, it wasn’t the time to be settling. They had lasted two and a half years, both of their longest. She didn’t want to have expected something marital. And yet, here she was, walking home because she’d missed the bus, while he kissed a prettier girl under the not so christmas-y christmas lights that she could spot in his window.

__  
_ {And I stare at the phone, _ __  
_ He still hasn't called _ __  
_ And then you feel so low you can't feel nothing at all _ __  
_ And you flashback to when he said forever and always _ __  
_ Oh, and it rains in your bedroom _ __  
_ Everything is wrong _ __  
_ It rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone _ __  
_ 'Cause I was there when you said forever and always} _ __  
  


Gray didn’t apologize afterwards, something that both did and didn’t fit his character. Juvia, mainly, had made him apologize when he’d done her wrong. The dark haired boy who’d she’d wrongly thought of as a loyal boyfriend was still a child, unwilling to admit when he was wrong. He had helped her pack the boxes when she’d moved out, which she supposed was apology enough. Most days, she wonders what she did wrong, if she’d somehow caused her boyfriend to sleep with the Heatfilia heiress in their bed. Some days, Juvia resigns herself to the fact that no matter what, she always loves the wrong men. The ones who hit, the ones who cheat, the ones who don’t feel anything, she’s seen it all. On those rare, bittersweet instances, she can bring herself to leave the shitty house she’d bought six hours after he’d left her, no questions asked. It was run-down, on the outskirts of town, with an ancient, clattering heater that never kept her warm, cracked and boarded windows, with a roof that leaked more often than not. Juvia tells herself that she’ll fix it in the summer, when fair weather favors her and she can start her garden again. Lyon will be in town too, he would help her with it, undoubtedly. Lyon was lovely in that way, much softer than his brother. Sweet, timid, undyingly fierce. Even though he’s got a girlfriend now, Lyon was the type of guy who would help anybody, regardless. He wouldn’t cheat on Meredy, he wouldn’t kick her out with nowhere to go. It’s only in looking back that Juvia realizes she picked the wrong son. 

__  
_ {Was I out of line? _ __  
_ Did I say something way too honest? _ __  
_ Made you run and hide _ __  
_ Like a scared little boy? _ __  
_ I looked into your eyes _ __  
_ Thought I knew you for a minute, now I'm not so sure} _ __  
  


She had burnt the coffee the morning he’d pretended wasn’t a big deal. Juvia had always been a tea drinker, and while Gray had brushed her mistake off as unimportant, kissing her brow before she left for the early shift, she couldn’t help but feel...off. Like if she hadn’t let the pot heat for so long, hadn’t let the tangy smell of burning beans fill their tiny kitchen, that he wouldn’t have done it. If Juvia hadn’t burned the damn coffee, if her swearing hadn’t woken him up, he wouldn’t have cheated. Erza had told her a million times over that it wasn’t her fault, that there were some forces in the universe that just couldn’t be stopped, like Gray being an (unfortunately handsome) bastard, and Lucy being an (unfortunately lovely) bitch with no sense of sisterhood. But then again, she was just Erza, the buff woman with a warrior’s heart who fell in love with problematic boys with fiances. They had all fallen apart in the year that was supposed to be theirs, Lucy, selling herself short in a desperate attempt to get Natsu to notice her, Levy, pregnant with her boss’s twins, Erza, forever waiting for a boy who would never find a way to say he loved her back. And then there was Juvia, whose life had fallen through at every opportunity. She’d bought the house as a short, desperate, last shot at the life she’d wanted, the one she’d planned for. It felt shameful, to want to be a housewife, a mother, to spill out her love and expect something in return. It was either that or the burnt coffee. 

__  
_ {So here's to everything _ __  
_ Coming down to nothing _ __  
_ Here's to silence _ __  
_ That cuts me to the core _ __  
_ Where is this going? _ __  
_ Thought I knew for a minute, but I don't anymore} _ __  
  


Things fall apart. People change, boys cheat, the ever-so-friendly co-workers you thought you could trust end up with their designer sweaters and skinny jeans on your bedroom floor. Juvia would move on, grow up, she had too. Being sad wouldn’t get her anymore, but here she is, her tears shattering on the cracked tile floor of her bathroom. She tries not to relive the moment, his hands on her hips, Lucy, of all girls, screaming his name. Juvia didn’t freeze, to her credit. Didn’t drop her fresh (unburnt) cup of coffee she’d made for him. A graceful, swift exit, pouring the coffee down the drain. A phone call to Gajeel, asking if she could stay over, and borrow his truck. A quick, hastily scribbled note. “I don’t want to talk, I’ll take my clothes in the morning. Hope she’s worth it. Regards, Ms. Juvia Lockser” Formal, respectful. Juvia had mastered the art of swallowing betrayal with eloquence. 

__  
_ {You didn't mean it, baby, _ __  
_ I don't think so} _ __  
  


It had rained everyday since, just her luck, really. Public transport didn’t run all the way home, and now that she didn’t have a ride, Juvia finds herself trudging home, hood up against the ever-aggressive sleet. She’s kept her distance, through it all, though the stolen kisses on his desk, the grandiose gestures that made everyone a little sick to their stomachs. The rings, the subsequent photo ops, Lucy’s ecstatic expression, Gray’s barely hidden grin. The endless barrage of wedding planners, caterers, bakers, designers, hair stylists, makeup artists. Juvia holds her peace through it all, pretending that she was happy for them. Sure, she had dated since then, but, like Bora, she had split, fractured into ‘before Gray’ and ‘after Gray’. Bits and pieces of broken lovers, leaving her bruised and bleeding. Juvia had stopped waiting for him to call her, to want her back. She had moved on, or gotten close enough to it to make the pain manageable. It was a searing sort of loss, it was a cold place in the bed. It was an “I love you” text left unanswered after months. 

__  
_ {Back up, baby, back up _ __  
_ Did you forget everything? _ __  
_ Back up, baby, back up _ _  
_ __ Did you forget everything?}

 

And yet, Juvia remembers the spring, through all her pain, her pretty lies about moving on, she can still remember the look he’d given her while she planted daffodils in his window box. Like she was the ocean, the stars. Juvia feels his kisses trailing down her neck and his fingertips tracing down her hips. It was bittersweet, waking up alone after reliving their doomed love affair. He’d been bad for her, really, now that she reflects on their time together. A passing fling, the quiet girl he’d taken pity on and had twirled around the ballroom for a couple songs. It hadn’t been real, the more she tells herself this, the better she’ll feel. His little lies, every trip to the beach, every whispered ‘I love you’, fake, all of it. Thinking about Gray, dreaming on him, was just delaying the inevitable. He didn’t love her, he didn’t care for her, the sooner she could realize that, the better.

__  
_ {You didn't mean it, baby, _ __  
_ You said forever and always…} _ __  



End file.
